20 Things I have learned while in quarantine for one month — COVID-19

Lauren Volper
3 min readApr 10, 2020
  1. I, really, really appreciate the flower gardens of strangers
  2. Yogurt and baking soda in a recipe can be used as a substitution for yeast and makes the most delicious and moist biscuits
  3. I have a compulsion to pet every dog and cat I see and the inability to do so causes me deep emotional distress
  4. Black squirrels exist. Yeah, I know. Wow, right?
  5. There’s a limited amount of sex positions, and when I try new ones with my partner they don’t always work, and sometimes it’s just the entertainment I needed that day
  6. Quarantine isn’t boring, TV or Netflix is boring
  7. I’m never bored, just unmotivated to learn
  8. I finally have the time to do all the things I have been saying I want to do
  9. I incomprehensibly lack the motivation to do all the things I have been saying I want to do when I have more time
  10. English muffin pizzas never cease to excite me
  11. Pants are itchy, tight, unnecessary leg stranglers and I never want to wear them again #freelegsforever

--

--

Lauren Volper

@thelaurenvolperlife. Culinary school grad. Professional Wino. Retired amatuer bodybuilder. Jill of all trades, master of pun.